According to scientific research, when we are interested in
someone, our behavior changes and something inside us mimics their actions,
making it as though we are almost one with the person. Lingus states, “When we
love a woman, or when we love a man, our eyes spot the slight upward curl on
the edge of the lips that forms when she or he smiles”. Basically when we love
someone, we want to smile; there is a huge part of us that feels almost
inclined to feel happy when they are around. Love is a strange feeling as it is
something that we let other people give to us; they are responsible for us
feeling the way we do. The happiness that we experience when we love someone
sets us up for further feelings, in a sense we are giving someone the
opportunity to break us down if we let them in which is what happens with love.
But at the same time, with that risk come some forms of excitement as through
love do you achieve a sense of joy, that someone likes you enough to want to be
with you and that someone, remarkably actually likes you for who you are with
no exceptions.
We start to
notice the little things in the people we love, we start to really look at them
and admire their physical appearance,
“Our eyes watch her or his fingers spreading
or stroking the air or the fabric of a dress or the soft leather sofa, watch
the sway and design of her or his gestures
I suppose when you really fall for someone even where they
are becomes more beautiful, one starts to look at their loved one and see more
then just blue eyes and brown hair, but the ocean at its most turbulent and a
chestnut tree’s leaves falling just as the hair blows in the wind and as the
eyes begin to blink. Especially with unrequited love, not being able to have
the person heightens our awareness of them, we start to notice the exact way
they interact with us and we especially become more aware of ourselves.
We begin to
question what is wrong with us and why the other person who is so perfect in
our minds does not want to be with us. Every part of our being wants to be able
to touch them, to caress their fair hair and to be able to smooth the ridges in
their shoulders, “we feel the shivers of pleasure on her or his skin. We feel
small gusts of her or his warm breath moving across our skin.”. We
automatically feel more at ease and at the same time much more on edge as we
have no idea what is to come. That also excites us; as for once we aren’t in
control, we cannot make the other person want us, which increases our wanting
of them.
Love is a
strange thing, as it in some way, always changes us without our permission. We
become less selfish and instead of wanting our own happiness, we want the
happiness of another. We want to be their reason to smile, but at what cost?
Even when we are not in love with someone we are constantly watching their actions, and those actions are in turn subconsciously mirrored in our own exteriors. Due to the mirror neurons that are intertwined with the many connections in our brains, whether we act or see another animal perform the same action the same part of our brain fires. It is believed that the presence of these neurons aids in our learning processes and social facilitation. The firing of these neurons creates a connection between the observer and the observed where the observer experiences, in a small way, that which the observed is feeling. Many of us experience this connection when we see someone fall and feel that tug in our stomach that leads us to grimace as if we are feeling their pain. The presence of mirror neurons implies an evolutionary need for sympathy. By feeling the pain of others we in turn feel that we must act to remove that pain.
ReplyDeleteWhat is sometimes striking to me is that those universal feelings of love, butterflies in the stomach, blushing, etc, can be reduced to what John has said; mirror neutrons. Why, as humans, do we neglect scientific reason behind our emotions? We sacrifice mirror neutrons for something more poetic and cheesy, and thus 'butterflies' and 'blushing' dominate the vernacular of love.
ReplyDeleteLove is all chemistry. It is not this universal ideal but rather processes and reactions happening at a minute level inside of our bodies. Even something as simple as kissing provides each partner with hormonal clues to one another.
There are many areas of study concerning pheromones and the olfactory system. Pheromones are chemicals that are released in response to sexual stimulation, the most common being sweat. Animals use pheromones to determine the sex of other animals and to understand social relationships. Bacteria even release chemicals into the surrounding area of the host in order to detect other bacteria that may be competent for cell reproduction. The saying 'love is in the air' is not too far off. Our olfactory systems pick up on bacterial competency and detect the presence of compatible pheromones within potential mates.
Maybe we should stop worrying about sharing hobbies with our partners and start making sure our bodies are chemically compatible.